Colbert: Good News Used To Be ‘We Got Bin Laden,’ Now It’s ‘We Got Trump To Release Kidnapped Children’
COLBERT: "That’s good. I applaud this judge for this ruling, but it’s a little sad that this is what counts as good news. Good news used to be, “We got bin Laden.” Now it’s, “We got trump to release the kidnapped children. And there’s a chance he might do it!” The judge did not mince any words in his decision. He called the family separation crisis “A chaotic circumstance of the government’s own making.” Which is also the very worst “Lemony snicket” book. The judge instructed that “Nearly all children younger than five be returned to their parents within 14 days and that older children be returned within 30 days.” Yes, so important. Five-year-olds have got to be with their parents as quickly as possible, but six-year-olds can take it. Come osix-year-olds know how this game is plied. He kidnaps children. The Democrats give him his border wall. He respects the playah. I believe that’s the way he says it. There’s one problem with the judge telling the trump Administration to return the children. What? You took them away and you can’t even track children? Domino’s can track my pizza."